Daugher is dating an alcoholic

28 Jan

Divorce and Narcissism are a difficult combination. In times of danger the best thing to do is prepare. I wrote in my book about divorce: The first thing my husband’s attorney asked him was “Shall I hit her over the head with a 2×4?

Divorce is never good – but take a narcissist/verbal/emotional abuser and his lawyer and you have a situation that can turn quickly into an explosive battle. The legal system can be a very effective battering tool when divorce and narcissism are combined. One woman asked if people listened about the importance of planning. She said, “Tell them I am the poster child for not planning and it isn’t good.” Before You Begin To Divorce A Narcissist This is a dangerous time. But men are easy prey for emptying their bank account by greedy lawyers.

In an idealized household, the adult couple functions as an integrated unit, at least as far as their children are concerned.

They make policy together and speak with one voice, individually resisting any given child’s attempts to manipulate or to play one parent off the other to gain advantage.

Often the abuser who sees he is losing control will escalate the methods of control and abuse.

The lies will be bolder and he may manipulate with more intensity. Continued use of the legal system may now be available to him.

At the very least this encourages selfish behavior on her part and models a weakened marriage for her.The legal system is adversarial and full of men and women with tremendous needs for power. You need financial assets to protect yourself and your children. Interview attorneys and make a plan before you tell your spouse what you are doing. The verbal abuser becomes enraged when faced with a partner who has found the power to leave and feels justified in his behavior.We are dealing with narcissists who are already damaged and primed to do battle. He or she may want to punish you and this can go on for a very long time.Households where children from prior marriages are combined are perhaps particularly vulnerable to this sort of thing happening, for reasons which will hopefully become clear in a moment.Family therapists call this sort of problem a boundary issue.