How to be accomodating

26 Dec

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"If you say yes and then find yourself feeling resentful or irritated at yourself or the other person, then you know that you were doing it not out of generosity but because you felt you to," Tillman says. If you can't answer the above right away, say: "I'll need to get back to you on that." Develop your ix-nay muscles "Saying no is a learned skill that anyone can develop," Newman says. Tillman recommends something along these lines: "I know you were really hoping to have all your friends around for your baby shower, so I'm even more sorry I can't go." 4. If you know you might waver when you see disappointment or surprise on the other person's face, it can be very empowering to lead with the no, says Tillman.

And sometimes just saying yes is the easiest way out (see: placating a demanding mother-in-law). Other research finds that when we do things for other people, our brains light up in areas associated with pleasure and reward.

Given this, it's not always easy to know when a firm is in order. The most obvious sign you're too accommodating: Saying yes makes you feel bad.

Most of us -- no matter how together we are -- could use help with saying nay.

More From Health: Learn To Be Assertive And Love it!