Saturdaynightdating com

22 Apr

Noel and his Crinkly Bottom were no longer enough – we wanted more.

Never has the adage, ‘be careful what you wish for,’ been more apt…

If he does a back-flip and six of the girls didn't like the way his buttocks shook as he landed, they switch their podium lights off, thereby whittling down his selection of available mates, and by extension, the gene pool. Not literally, as a format point, but in the moment where each man first slithers down the tube and some of the girls immediately turn their lights off based on appearances alone.

Paddy skitters around asking what's turned them off, and they dole out diplomatic answers about disliking the way he walked, or his shoes, rather than saying he's too ugly or fat or that his skin's the wrong colour for their tastes.

It's hosted by Paddy Mc Guinness, who arrives on the studio floor by descending down a huge glittery pipe, like a showbiz turd being flushed into the nation's lap. The girls line up behind a row of illuminated podiums, and the first of the men arrives, sliding down the same pipe Paddy used earlier (if you'll pardon the expression).

It’s the TV equivalent of hearing girls gossip about their dates in the loos. Take Me Out hasn’t been without its scandal either, having been blighted by a spate of shady contestants in 2012, such as Aaron, the freelance journalist.

Yes, because he has the silken, flaxen hair of an elf!

The show of course has its critics, not least those asking: why must the man always be the suitor?

Aaron, when he wasn’t busy “doing journalist stuff,” was busy punching women and escorting men.

He also managed to pick a former prostitute as his date. The Brits love an underdog though and Take Me Out soon regained its footing, taken under the viewer’s wing like the dodgy uncle who does a “bit o’this and bit o’that.” After all, the audience knows what it’s got: finally, a deserved successor to Blind Date, so familiar and reassuring you almost expect the advert breaks to show chimps drinking cups of tea.